In Stasis

You/ are a too-difficult dynamic system/, a product of the unintended/ perturbations of our initial conditions. / You puzzle me. 

This is the condition:/ stuck/ in hyper-sleep,/ in semi-dream/ caught in the unawares/ or at least I tell myself while/ I know, deep within, I am conscious./ Of the pause:/ of the artificial equilibrium we effect through the opposing of the only forces within me,/ acceptance and denial. /

But no, these words are too much/ so I try to be mathematical about it/ to have an excuse for not knowing/. But it turns out, I know the numbers after all,/ I haven't forgotten./ 

The problem is in the eyes,/ also in stasis/ as if to protect the owner from destruction/ so I cannot tell the difference between infinity and zero.

Running 1

Literally, not figuratively.

For once! And in hopes of strength for what may be the trade-off for foregoing the figurative.:)

A poet once said that 'rapid motion through space elates one', it is true and so I will keep this physical pace, there is no arguing in these terms materially.

But in cases of dreamy encounters, I think I'll wager hanging around sometime. :)

Hypnagogia

Because I rarely get to sleep, I know that people know that when I talk about dreaming, I mean it in the figurative.

I have wondered about limits too. What is the limit to the dreaming? They say we are only limited by our imagination, all the possibilities we make are of ourselves.

I have often doubted this, knowing that there is a danger in all kinds of dreaming -- that of the inability to wake up, and face what reality awaits us. Of course the other alternative is to make the very dream a reality -- a fairy tale affair, those things in the books.

Yet in this slight mockery is masked my envy for those who actually make it. I was once used to getting most things I wanted - needed. Now I see myself, as if from afar, falter in most steps I take. I feel the very dream I nurse is that which burdens me with the realization that I am not as good as I want to be, need to be. Yet I also find that I cannot let it go.

I wonder if this means that I now encounter something infinitely bigger than myself, huge enough to limit any further step.

Or if this means that at last, I'm finally dreaming about something real, important - that this can take me further.

I feel small these days, I can only hope this means that I'm finally dreaming big enough.

Note to Self

First thing to do after all the craze is: run.

Note 2

There are so many things I would love to say to you.

But never mind, you seem to be no expert in semantics, and I've practiced enough polemics to succeed in convincing myself that there is heroic value in staying away when one is not needed or when it is harder to.