I meant to wave a sign

At this point what I think is this: you shall never know. And for and with good reasons.

Understand this, that signification is a ritual that constitutes what hope for survival remains. It is, in war, a convention. A demand (a word we overuse).

In so many levels, the imposition of the meaning or the assignment of the special truths ( a word I use loosely to mean my own), is both answering and asking certain questions. We ask without asking, we answer without clarifying recognition.

Now this is all we are, all I am. A confessor hiding behind the signs barely imbued with relations of feeling. The narratives created, the meanings designated and ultimately, the signs created surpass the temporality of its maker. Signs, at once freeing and reducing - these are all I have.

Then you will, you shall, never know - because if you do, nothing will remain secret -- nothing secret will remain.

Unfortunate, to have the feeling of freedom at last but to have to resist . What realizations of the thousand things that can be done. But alas, I imposed on myself this condition: to be trapped in a war where every word must be an enigma.

I will signal to the moon from now on.